Faith

For the last month or so I have been dragging myself out of bed on Sunday morning to attend church. This is huge for me because I haven't done that since I was a child. I'm looking for that peace and clarity I once had.

I am overall happy with life as it is but there is this piece of me that is missing. I need to believe there is more because if this is it I may have to shrivel up. There has to be hope for more and a chance to make the world better.

I do the usual polite/kind things on the daily like hold the door for others and say thank you. I can't remember the last time I really helped anyone or change someone's life. I want it all --I want to be able to help people, love my work, live well, and take care of my family.

My greatest flaw would have to be my impatience I want everything to happen now and yesterday. I constantly move forward and circle around never stopping like a shark in the ocean. I know there are better ways to live but when you have a family to support you are always thinking 5 steps ahead and pushing on.

I guess I'll devote my meditation and prayers to slowing the roll and taking it all in but when it comes to work I'm still going to have to push forward. As soon as things settle I'll release the reins again.